Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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