Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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