They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
