He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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