As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
