Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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