when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize