I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
