my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
