Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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