did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
