It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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