Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
