Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
