? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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