at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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