Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
