Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
