I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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