i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
