well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
