I wish my penis had an off switch
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
