I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
