idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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