I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
