Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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