girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
