Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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