Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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