I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
now i know why i became what i already was.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
