So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
did i just pee glitter
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize