I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
