do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
