I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize