When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
