I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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