I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
