Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize