Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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