Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize