Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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