That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
