Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
