Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
