peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
