How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
