Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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