Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
