when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
