We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
