Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
